How to Get Over Someone

Everyone’s story is different, but here’s mine. In short, I wanted to have kids with my partner… and he didn’t.

To be honest, I probably would have stayed with him anyway. I adored him that much. But at a certain point, it became clear to him that he wouldn’t be able to give me what I wanted, so he started to withdraw his energies, and things began crumbling after that.

It took me about six years to open my heart again. I wish that my healing had been quicker and easier—but that breakup hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced. The feelings just kept coming, even years later, and I didn’t know what to do with most of them.

I wasn’t just sad and lost without my ex. I was sad, lost, and angry with myself for not knowing how to move on. I felt like I’d wasted my own time, like I was wasting more of it every day that I didn’t let it go—but I didn’t know how to.

I searched for anything that might bring relief, and I was disappointed by most of Google’s results. A lot of post-breakup advice articles are shallow, clickbait BS (as you might have seen), so I had to look for scattered little scraps of deeper insight and slowly stitch them together.

That’s how anybody accumulates wisdom. Then again, six years is an awfully long time to suffer while you search for answers.

Eventually, I had a better idea: why not ask the professionals? Surely, the people who work in these areas for a living will have more to say than the random websites competing for clicks on Google.

So I turned to some experts for their insight… and it’s one of the best decisions I ever made.

First of all, the interviews were such a tremendous help to me personally. Try as I might, I couldn’t feel better until I understood certain things—about myself, about others, about relationships, even about sex—and I couldn’t feel better until I could see breakups for the grieving processes that they are.

After all, as someone once put it, grief is just love with no place to go (and that’s why breakups can feel like a death in the family). The interviews helped me to see all of that more clearly.

But there’s a bigger reason that this Summit is one of the best things I ever did: I recorded it, which means I can share all of it with you!

My hope is that, by providing you with better information, you won’t have to suffer nearly as much or for nearly as long as you otherwise might have.